In the cheerless days of 1944, when the Second World War was at its
height, a little song became very popular. Written by Johnny Mercer and Harold
Arlen and performed by the peerless Bing Crosby, Accentuate the Positive,
Eliminate the Negative, became a hit both in the USA and here in the UK.
That song still resonates today because we do have a tendency, however
unaware we may be, of doing it by injecting negative words into our
conversation.
Another if our great Vistage speakers, John Cremer, often uses a
little role-play exercise in his presentation.
He has two people facing each other and one starts the conversation by
saying “What about trying……?” The other can only respond by saying “Yes, AND…….!” to add to the idea and
the two of them build it from there.
The role play then changes with the answer becoming “Yes, BUT……” and then continues as before.
Just watch the difference in the body language in each exercise, never
mind the change in energy, and this is just role play not the real thing.
Starting a sentence with “no”,
“but” or “however” are used, whether we like it or not, to gain or
consolidate power and they can have a really serious effect on the listener.
Negativity drains energy from people and even from a room with a
consequent reduction in enthusiasm and the desire to achieve. If you are running a meeting it needs to be
in a “negative free zone”!
If you watch out for it, you will see how using those words can
engender intense resentment, either conscious or unconscious, and they can
stifle rather than open up discussion.
Teams and people react to verbal stimuli from leaders, both positive
and negative and for obvious reasons we should always look to “accentuate the positive” rather than the
reverse.
One of our top Vistage speakers, Marcus Child, cites the example of
the football coach who exhorts his team to “Stop
moving the ball sideways” or “Don’t
use the long ball” or “Don’t give up
so easily”, all negatives.
Rather be positive and tell your team what they CAN or SHOULD do and
illustrate your thoughts with positive consequences.
Marcus Child says that even replying to a “thank you” with “no problem”
is a double negative! A far better answer is “It’s a pleasure!” or "You're welcome!"
Listen too people in shops, on the street, being interviewed on the
radio or TV and hear how these negative words and phrases have insidiously
crept into our everyday conversation.
All in all, it is a matter of habit and one we need to watch out for
in order to “Eliminate the Negative”.
If you enjoyed this blog take a look at my book "Leading to Success"
Visit the Vistage UK website
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